Music ! ♥

Bumpy 2009...Hope that 2010 is way better...

I am feeling like such a girl right now =( Don't know what is wrong with me man...I have a lot to say about how I feel but I don't wish to tell anyone...Not just anyone that I will tell that's for sure...Life just sux...Is it because you have too much time at work that caused you to become like who you are? Thinking about her, another her and more hers when your mind is not occupied? Or issit that once you tasted something sweet, you would want more of it at the shortest time? Yes, I truely believe that I am getting more and more desperate but to be fair, I do not like that kind of feeling. I believe in one and only 1 will do. But what am I doing now?

Then, I found another her. One that I am sure now that I can depend on. But I feel the same way as what i did. The feeling of wanting her so much and the feeling of being insecured just didn't disappear. I know that I am doing the wrong thing but at least, for now, I can tell myself that I don't own her and if she doesn't reply me on time, it is still fine. I do not feel like I have an obligation to constantly talk to her and please her because she is not mine yet. It is very different when you are a boyfriend and your girlfriend puts the "Hey, can you just fuck off? Give me some breathing space will you? I want to be with you but I don't want to talk to you" that sort of feeling. At least I can just leave as and when I like because I have no obligation for now.

I am not a very colourful guy. I am just a boring guy that tries to make people happy. Maybe you will find out that I am not just the guy you thought I was because I am run out of ideas after a long time. Maybe weird is something you can describe me but for me, effort is what I like to use. Effort to please a girl; effort to think about a girl; effort to talk to a girl; effort to not look at other girls etc. DO YOU THINK I WILL DO THAT TO ANY GIRL? Definitely not! I believe that one is enough to satisfy me and I have a responsibility and burden/commitment to pick up a relationship. If you ask me to put in only 50% or 80% in a relationship, I most likely can't do it. I am a 100% guy and believe it or not,I have to constantly excite myself with new ideas of mine or at least thinking about you. I can't rest my brain, stop thinking about things or you when I am awake. That is me.

Well, I just like to be outstanding/weird. I give out of the ordinary answers because I feel proud and excited about those ideas. If the minority is always weird, I will join them. Simply because rich people are also minorities and who dare say they are weird. NO ONE! A damn rich man w/o a handphone or a laptop? A damn rich man wearing shorts and singlet, going shopping? A damn rich man driving a poor man's car? They are weird but have anyone said anything? Weird is so over rated.

Music changes everything<'3
Rock rock rock :D